I'm Almost 23 Years Old and I Have No Real Friends

Hey ladies,

I'm an INFJ and have always been a relatively shy and reserved person. It's not that I don't have the ability to make friends. I can make friends just as easily as the bext person. My issue is retaining friends. Just as someone might not be into casual dating, I'm not much of a casual friendship sort of person. I guess you could say that i'm always looking for my next best friend. But I can never get past the point of that awkward stage when making friends. This is even more difficult because I don't exactly have a lot in common with the average person around my age. I don't really enjoy drinking, partying, or smoking. I'm an atheist, and I'd prefer to talk about the current state of the world rather than the latest celebrity scandal.

It's been so long since ive made a legitimate friend that I've actually forgotten how to act around new people. I'm afraid that I come off as some sort of weirdo. On top of that, I'm incredibly transparent. Whatever im feeling is always plastered onto my face, and people often ask me if I'm okay. I like to pretend i'm okay, but the truth is that i'm not okay. I'm not "not okay" in the sense that i'm suicidal. I'm not okay in the sense that, as a person that typical prefers solitude...I'm tired of being alone.

My ex boyfriend is the closest friend that I have, and he's been amazing. But I can't rely on him for everything. Is there anyone else in my shoes? Or am I really the only "lonely loner" here?

really? no one?

Nah, I'm the same way. I have friends at work, but that's usually where it stays. We hang out outside of work sometimes, but very rarely. My close friends consist of my parents, my brother, and my boyfriend, and that's about it other than a few online friends. I'm usually tired after work and don't want to hang out, plus I still have an OCD with food from a past ED that I'm still working on that gives me shit and makes me less willing to hang out with people. That's one reason why I can't wait to go back to school in January. Hopefully I'll be around a lot more people like me and maybe actually try to make some friends. Hopefully.?

Hi i am eesgirl21 i dont have many friends

I'm not in my 20s yet just two more years for me :-) ,@dogdaysareover its pretty normal my mother told me that people you were close with during your childhood are the friends you grow old with.you not alone and you not weird either I too also prefer speaking about current affairs and the only celebrity's name I know is Jennifer Lawrence.small minded people talk about other people and smart people talk about ideas and current affairs.if you really lonely why don't you take part in clubs eg. Book club ,current affairs club any club just to meet new people and also you don't need friends who are from the same culture religion or race .I'm a white Muslim and my friends are black Christians they are smarter street wise and I'm book wise we different hobbies what I'm trying to say is diversity is a good thing it helps you adapt and that way this could mean people accepting others and respecting their decisions

@ dogdaysarenover

Girl I'm right where you are and I'm 26 lol I'm always up for conversation. I'm super quiet around people I'm not totally comfortable around so I've always only had a couple close friends you're not alone

? I'd be your friend, execpt I don't know you and we probably live really far from each other. What state do you live in? I live in New Hampshire. It may be pretty far from where your from though.

Not sure if that sounds good to some of you or not, but did you ever consider joining an association that meets your interests. I know that sounds horrible to someone who is an introvert and not good at making friends, but once you take the first step you will be among friendly and like-minded people.

Girl, I am in the exact same boat as you. I'm also an INFJ so I understand and relate to everything you said. I've always struggled to maintain friendships. My best friend is also my wife. And my other best friend is my mother. I have no other friends. Not ones that I want to hang out with at least... they're mostly just aquaintances. I also have nothing in common with others my age (i'm almost 25 btw). I don't drink or party either and don't have a lot of hobbies that are social. I find myself longing for "real" friends that I can have deeper relationships with.?

You're not the only one!

 

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