Parents discourage healthy lifestyle?

Before anyone snipes at me for still living with my parents as a (fairly young) adult: It's complicated. No, I have no other friends/fam. No, my financial situation is not ideal. Yes, I have a job and I'm receiving a college degree and making an honest effort at 'getting my life together'. I pay my own bills and dental expenses and pull my own weight. It's not easy right now, especially having epilepsy and being unable to drive. I'm just here because my options are extremely limited, so please don't make fun of me. I won't appreciate that, so please try to understand my situation as the economy isn't at its best these days.

My mom discourages my healthy lifestyle. She still treats me like a toddler and demands I eat what she cooks even though I'm capable of cooking for myself and I don't like her cooking because she is completely absent when it comes to nutrition and balanced meals. She's refusing to go to the grocery store and bring me home produce in retaliation because I don't eat her ribs or whatever she wanted me to eat so badly, she's making it really hard for me and I'm having pretty severe anxiety that's manifesting in physical side effects because I?m losing my battle over freedom as an adult because she?s dysfunctional and domineering in a way that she oversteps boundaries and tries to seize ultimate control over me until I?m a puppet. She's a food pusher, she eats dinner way too early and I wish she?d stop trying to control the way I eat. I?m a human being with my own body and she doesn?t seem to understand that. I?m sick of her forcing me into submission/compliance and making my belly a trashcan to accommodate her comfort. Also, not to be rude but her cooking is bland and terrible. I may live with her, but I cook for myself because I feel better when I don?t bog my body down with junk and foods that irritate my digestive system. The idea of falling to her demands nauseates me and sometimes I have nightmares of eating disgusting things I would never touch because of the stress she puts on me.

I feel bad that she makes an effort and works hard to prepare these meals, but I've tried time and time again to "politely" decline and say no with plenty of love. Each time, she bulldozes me and completely disregards what I express and I feel like a lifeless doll at this point. Is it necessary to have a battle over what I choose to put in my body? I think it's so backwards that my parents try to erase and undo and fight tooth and nail to prevent me from eating my vegetables when that should be considered an achievement in America. It's starting to really shake me up and get under my skin to a point where the idea of tiptoeing around her to prepare a meal that doesn't assault my sanity with fear and guilt or disgust is enough to trigger a panic attack because she makes it so, so serious and such an offense. I don't mean feeding myself as a personal middle finger to her. I truly don't. I am taking what VERY LITTLE of my adult life into my own hands and providing for myself in the small way that I can. I'm going to be cooking for myself when I live alone, and when I have a husband and child one day, so why not display that form of competency now? I've naively eaten whatever was put in front of me and 'cleaned my plate' for enough years. ?I'll be the first to admit I have obsessive-compulsive tendencies, I like to have control and when that control is taken from me I start to become unhinged... but reasonably so, as my mom threatens me and makes demands like I'm still 7. She's an alpha woman and has to be in control as well, so I'm sure you can imagine her formidable demeanor.?

Any kind and helpful advice? Has anyone been in this same situation with a family that excessively disagrees with your healthy choices?

 

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