Help me!!!! my dads a liar and Has fucked up my life and messed up my head!!!!!

I feel like I can't do anything right. When I comes to my family. I can't do my chores right I can't do anything. My mum and dad are split up and have been for ages now which is for that best as he has made my mum and my families lives hell. Telling us we had money when we don't. He made us loose our house more than once. He made him steal my Christmas gifts my fault blamed it on me, that I had lost it on something or somewhere. My life feel so low. I can be bothered to do anything anymore. I think why is it worth it because I will only do it wrong. And frankly I am one big screw up. My life is helpless. I feel depressed and down all the time. I feel like punching and screaming and crying all at the same time. My nan died and I had to be the strong one while everyone else grieved my dad made me think I had to. Then my grandfather died and I could go to the funeral because my nans had upset me too much, so he just had another excuse to blame something on me. All the time I just feel like I want to cry. I can't put everything in words because it makes me to upset but you get the situation. At one point I was self harming cutting myself with a pair of scissors. I was/am still low but he doesn't listen to want I say when I explain what he is doing to me. Making me feel like this. What do I do? I want it to be over? I want to stop thinking about it,I want it to stop,I want it to go away. I can't go on like this. Kids at school hate me my friends hate me. I am the punching bag for everyone problems and I bottle mine. I need help or this is end I can't deal with my dad I hate him for want he has done and I hate my life. I need help. I feel horrible and can't find anything for me to do. I am bored of the life I live. I hate it. But I am the one who is meant to keep it together. And I am always the disappointment. So I am stopping trying and just giving up. Please help me!!!!!

can you move in with your mother?

i haven't been in your shoes except when it comes to being the "punching bag" that gets to hear everyone else's problems but never vent your own and the best thing there is to try and find someone (guidance counslor? ) to talk to and a new group to hang out with... easier said than done

but so far everyone i've talked to here on my gurl is friendly so most of us would probably be willing to help you however we can.... cheer up and stay strong

 

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