No Best Friend

Don't get me wrong, I've had friends. In fact all my life I've had a changing group of friends, which has only grown since I've started high school. However my most intimate circle of friends includes me and 5 other girls. I love them to death and try my best to support them and be there for them. Granted, I'm an introvert and not always the best at showing my affection but I try to be a good friend and I truly care about each one of them. But everyone within my friend group are all best friends with each other. They hang out one on one and tell each other everything. I'm always the one who walks behind when there's no room or gets ignored in the group message. When I hang out with my friends, I'm always playing catch up because I've been missing out. I'm not angry or resentful that they are best friends, it just makes me feel sad and lonely. Any advice on how I should become closer to them? Or should i search for a new friend??

Thanks,
Claire

Do you share the same likes? I mean music, movies, hobbies, sport and stuff like that? Maybe it's because they all like the same stuff.?
I don't really know and I'm sorry I didn't help but do you think it's possible they're closer because of their interests?

I so completely understand. I had a big group of friends (I'm introvert too) and I was really close to two girls. But I did notice I was the one catching up and getting left behind I was never really part of the group, just friends with two of them. I'm not friends with any of them anymore (I won't say why) but then it happened again with two girls from class. Now, I have my best friends Ben and that's all I need.?

First, maybe you could try and spend one on one time with them yourself. Invite them to sleepover at yours or go to town or see a movie. If your parents are unsure about sleepovers (my mam definitely was) then you could ask to just invite one and explain that you want to become closer to whoever you invite, or even explain you feel a little left behind. Don't do it in a way that it makes it sound as if your friends are deliberately leaving you out, unless they are in which ?they're not proper friends. This might make our parents less likely to want them in their house. Promise to behave and that you'll keep noise to a minimum, and plan activities that you both enjoy that you could do.?

You up could also plan a day out to the beach or something, and maybe invite one or two. This gives you a chance to talk in a smaller group which will suit an introvert better and allow you to become closer to them.?

If if this doesn't help, you could always sit down and explain to them that you feel left out or left behind. I know it's hard, and don't do it if you feel really anxious about it, but sometimes this is the best thing to do. Try not to tell them in a way that makes it look like you're looking for pity, because you're not, and it doesn't seem mature and might make them a bit uncomfortable.?

Sorry if this isn't great but it's all I can think of for now :)

I sort of can relate to you but things are a bit different for me and my friends. The structure of our group isn't like a tv show where there is an alpha male and alpha female and all their followers. We are all just equal friends. I don't have a particular best friend. I don't mind because I get asked to go out with just about everyone in my group and when I'm not invited to something I don't feel bad about it. My happiness doesn't revolve and isn't dependent on anyone. I am perfectly happy at home alone reading a book as I am in the mall with a group of my friends.?

 

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