Advice?

Hey everyone! I thought I should put this under the religon category so please help me?

So l have been miserable lately. I recently got married and my husband and I decided to live a more christain life. I had to quit my job because they wouldn't let me have the day off to go to church. (I'm seventh day adventist so basically saturday is the day to rest) Well, me and my husband were going to move to nashville so I can become a esthetician to start my career path on becoming a makeup artist. Ever since I was in high school I have kept my eyes on 2 schools that fulfilled my needs and had the best ciriculum... Well, I have to give up my dreams now. The school I wanted to go to only have classes Wed-Saturday .... I have even been doing research trying to find something else but no luck!!! i'm just sad and hurt that I have to give up on my dreams because of my religion. I have been praying every night for something... I tried looking at other careers but i hate everything else!!!?

advice??

I'm not SDA, so I don't know the details of the situation, but I'll try to offer what I can to help.. Is going to church an all-day affair? The classes may be at a time that would not interfere with your religious obligation. If they will inevitably conflict, I advise you still try reaching out to those schools to see if there's any option to study in that program in a way that wouldn't interfere. You have nothing to lose by asking! The other thing you could do is speak to your religious leader. They're there to help you, and you never know what opportunity may come up that he may bring to your attention. Tell him you are trying to balance two important things in your life: your faith and your professional dreams. ...To sum this up, I advise you to ask around to make sure you know what your options are. Maybe in the process you will find a program that doesn't interfere! But you wouldn't know if you didn't look into it ;)??Don't give up on your dreams; you are encountering some setbacks, but nothing that should stop you from ultimately becoming a great makeup artist ;)?

flowersoul:I'm not SDA, so I don't know the details of the situation, but I'll try to offer what I can to help.. Is going to church an all-day affair? The classes may be at a time that would not interfere with your religious obligation. If they will inevitably conflict, I advise you still try reaching out to those schools to see if there's any option to study in that program in a way that wouldn't interfere. You have nothing to lose by asking! The other thing you could do is speak to your religious leader. They're there to help you, and you never know what opportunity may come up that he may bring to your attention. Tell him you are trying to balance two important things in your life: your faith and your professional dreams. ...To sum this up, I advise you to ask around to make sure you know what your options are. Maybe in the process you will find a program that doesn't interfere! But you wouldn't know if you didn't look into it ;)??Don't give up on your dreams; you are encountering some setbacks, but nothing that should stop you from ultimately becoming a great makeup artist ;)??

When I did the school tour at Aveda I already asked if there was a way I can work around it. Apparently, it's something about the law saying that they have to have classes the way they are now (Classes are from 8:30 am - 5:30 pm) So yea, And now that my husband and I aren't moving (No expenses) I even tried the paul mitchell school in my city... the law is the exact same here!! So i'm starting to think that maybe it's not in god's will for me to become a makeup artist? I don't know, I just don't know what to do caeer rise. I had a plan for my whole life and ever since last year, everything isn't going as I want it to be ... So yea i'm just in a little deep hole

why did you choose seventh day adventist?? Seems to me like you kind of shot yourself in the foot with that one.? Isn't religion and faith (especially Christianity) supposed to be more about what you believe and how you live your life...rather than submitting to such strict forms and structures?? I would think "God" would care more about your wellbeing and happiness, rather than taking an entrie day to rest or go to church.? If your career path takes you down a road which includes having to work on Saturdays or Sunday...don't you think "God" would care more that you work hard and do things to the best of your ability?
Like you said...you're miserable.? If there's a God out there, I think he would want you to be happy...not forcing yourself to worship him on certain days.

Maybe there are SDA affiliated schools out there? The other thing is, how long would this program last? If I were you, I might consider missing church for that duration. Obviously it's not ideal for you, but there's going to be a sacrifice somewhere. The other thing you need to consider, though, is this likely won't be the last conflict with your schedule. If you want to get a full time job, I don't know how you would balance work and church...it would be interesting to find out what others of your faith do about that. You're obviously not the only SDA person who has run into this problem..is there anyone you can ask about this who has gone through it firsthand??

I've been to SDA a few times, though I'm not a member and don't go anymore.

The SDA church I attended a few times, it seemed to be a theology which had deep down at it's very core -- fear and obedience. As in, we had to take every Saturday off, or fear the consequences of being disobedient.

And the end is near, but we're good obedient folk, following all the rules, so we'll be OK.

And fear all these things (X,Y,Z), be sure to stay away from them.

I don't know if all SDA churches are that way, but this one was.

I read there are two forms of Christianty: The difference is at the very core one is based on Fear and Obedience, while the other is based on Nurturance and Love.

One infers a spiteful vengeful God, the other a kind, loving, nurturing God.

One infers the Volcanic view of human nature, where we all have bad urges within us and we must keep those bad urges contained using willpower; the other infers the organic view of human nature where people grow naturally, and the best thing to do is to nurture a person so they can grow and fully become the whole person they were meant to be. (These two views are more fully explained in the excellent book "Human Be-ing" by?William Pietsch.)

Fear activates the Sympathetic Nervous System; Nurturance activates the Parasympathetic Nervous System.

And I read if one hears a fear based sermon every week, eventually one will become a more fearful person. Likewise, if one hears a nurturing loving based sermon every week, eventually one will become a more nurturing, loving person.

So I chose to discontine going to that fear based church and start going to a different church. (Unfortunately no other SDA church to chose from in my town at that time. However, more recently I heard that SDA church actually split into two; apparently half the congregation wasn't happy and wanted something different, so they split and went in two different directions. I haven't revisited to see what the two new ones are like.)

My ultimate point is, are you not going to Cosmotology school on Saturday because you fear God, and are afraid of what God will cause to happen if you do? Or is God a kind, loving, caring, and nurturing entity who wants you to follow your dreams so you'll be happy? Which concept of God do you want to have faith in?

del677:I've been to SDA a few times, though I'm not a member and don't go anymore.The SDA church I attended a few times, it seemed to be a theology which had deep down at it's very core -- fear and obedience. As in, we had to take every Saturday off, or fear the consequences of being disobedient.And the end is near, but we're good obedient folk, following all the rules, so we'll be OK.And fear all these things (X,Y,Z), be sure to stay away from them.I don't know if all SDA churches are that way, but this one was.I read there are two forms of Christianty: The difference is at the very core one is based on Fear and Obedience, while the other is based on Nurturance and Love.One infers a spiteful vengeful God, the other a kind, loving, nurturing God.One infers the Volcanic view of human nature, where we all have bad urges within us and we must keep those bad urges contained using willpower; the other infers the organic view of human nature where people grow naturally, and the best thing to do is to nurture a person so they can grow and fully become the whole person they were meant to be. (These two views are more fully explained in the excellent book "Human Be-ing" by?William Pietsch.)Fear activates the Sympathetic Nervous System; Nurturance activates the Parasympathetic Nervous System.And I read if one hears a fear based sermon every week, eventually one will become a more fearful person. Likewise, if one hears a nurturing loving based sermon every week, eventually one will become a more nurturing, loving person.So I chose to discontine going to that fear based church and start going to a different church. (Unfortunately no other SDA church to chose from in my town at that time. However, more recently I heard that SDA church actually split into two; apparently half the congregation wasn't happy and wanted something different, so they split and went in two different directions. I haven't revisited to see what the two new ones are like.)My ultimate point is, are you not going to Cosmotology school on Saturday because you fear God, and are afraid of what God will cause to happen if you do? Or is God a kind, loving, caring, and nurturing entity who wants you to follow your dreams so you'll be happy? Which concept of God do you want to have faith in??

I'm going to be honest with all you guys. I'm not going because this is what my husband wants because he is very fearful of god. My views on god is that he is very kind, loving, and FORGIVING. That's the main triats of god that I am more focused on but yet I can still fear him. I try to tell my husband how I view it and how I feel about it. But he is so scared because god is coming soon. There is nothing you can do for a person who is so scared no matter what you tell them. So I just left it alone. I came to a conclusion of what i'm going to do about my career... Although I won't become a esthetician .. i'm still going to finish my business degree (2 more years left and i'm done) and i'm going to still pursue my dream of having my own business in cosmetics. And i'm still going to pursue my dream of having a career from youtube. Esthetician was just my easy way out but it's fine if I don't get to do that lol

If your husband is really scared then perhaps you can help him. Works best if you yourself are genuinely the opposite of afraid. Be not afraid (that's in the Bible numerous places). It activates the parasympathetic nervous system, and his unconscious mind will pick up on that and he will relax too.?

Perhaps spend time together where you meditate on God's love. Find within him that part which thinks God is loving, kind, nurturing, and get him to dwell on that for a few minutes a day. Thinking a thought strengthens and reinforces that thought, so eventully he will shift to understanding God as being kind, loving, nurturing.

Jesus is mostly kind, loving, nurturing. Find the parts of the Bible that portray Jesus that way and study that. Keep thinking about God & Jesus as kind, loving, nurturing, and eventually the fear understanding migrates over to the love understanding.?

Eventually one doesn't obey out of fear, one simply does what is right because one has a kind, loving, nurturing, caring mind which naturally results in one being a good person and doing good things.

Note that rationally trying to persuade one to not be afraid doesn't work, as you already know. The problem isn't in the rational part of the mind, the problem is in the emotional part of the mind. Emotions aren't rational, they're just feelings. You can counter feelings by introducing other feelings. Introduce feelings of compassion, nurturing, and you yourself being at peace, not afraid. Emotions are contagious. He'll eventually pick up on it and become more that way.

Best wishes on completing your business degree! Sounds like a good path.?

Thank you for writing.

 

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment