I'm scared to reach out for help...

Or am I scared to admit that I need it??
Im 21. Recently struggling more and more with anxiety and depression.?
When I was in tenth grade, I developed a severe problem with anorexia. By the time I was 19 or so, I had finally fought my way out of what I thought was the deepest hole I'd ever be in. I had a balanced diet that I stuck to,
and a workout plan that helped me feel good about myself. In the past six months or so I've found myself falling backwards again. I've tried out multiple anxiety and depressive medication from my doctor, and I'm currently trying out the newest. With the lack of control this is causing me to feel, ive been overeating bits at a time and then not eating ambit at a time regularly. I began watching this show on Netflix in hopes it would help me ("Don't Call Me Crazy"). Instead, it's been a huge trigger, and just thinking about eating makes me even more anxious. I feel like I'm sinking under the water and I can't surface no matter what I do, because if it's not one disorder it's another.?
Im not looking for pity or sympathy, but I could use some help from my Gurls.?
Its been a while since I've been on, but it was my safe haven when I was younger,
and im hoping it can be that once again.?

Thank you for reaching out. Anorexia is one of those interesting mystery topics I don't know as much about. Somewhere I recall reading that someone believed a large majority of the anorexic people they encountered had the NF Idealist personality type. I don't know if any other survey backs that up. You can check out?http://keirsey.com/4temps/idealist_overview.asp and see if you identify with the description.

However, this really doesn't help much, so I don't know why I started with this tidbit of information. It was just the first thing that came to mind.

I'm not exactly clear, it sounds like you are doing both some overeating, and undereating, and having problems with anxiety, and depression. And you're trying some medications from your doctor, good, keep doing that, keep trying different ones, as it make take trying many different ones before finding the one which works for you. Unfortunately there is no way to know in advance which one will be the one that works for you. It's really just an educated guessing game. The good news is there are many to try, so it's likely that there is one out there that will work well for you.

The next thing that comes to mind, which again I apologize as technically it's interesting about how the brain works but ultimately this knowledge may not be of practical use, is a youtube video by Dr. Kevin?McCauley https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2emgrRoT2c where he explains the "Dopamine Hypothesis". Even though this is targeted at addiction, he does mention near the end how some of his patients may binge eat because it's the same effect as taking a drug, so binge eating is a form of addiction. Eating to esacape mental anguish is the same as drinking alcohol or taking drugs to escape mental anguish.

Anorexia, though, may be different. I've read eating makes them feel worse, so they naturally don't want to eat. Or another idea is they see themselves as fat, even though they aren't, so they naturally want to lose weight, even though they actually need to gain weight.

Oh, also I've read statistically, for no known reason, but in general the late teens and early 20's seem to be an age where a lot of mental illness issues surface. You'll probably find a lot of peers if you look around a bit. Universities and city colleges often have places that specialize in helping students with these issues, since it's so common among this age group. Are you under a lot of stress? Stress can trigger it. (Though stress can also be a symptom, so it's kind of hard to know which came first.)

For me I seek out support groups, peer groups, meditation groups, any groups where I can meet people, walking groups, yoga groups. Finding peer groups, people with similar issues to what I have, so we can talk about them, and I'm with people who understand, since they have similar issues themselves, that helps a lot.


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