My Reality

This is hard to post, but some of these posts are hard to read. The ones about people wanting an eating disorder.  I wanted to post a little bit about my reality of having an eating disorder. First of all, I lost all my friends because it makes you isolate. Notice every social situation somehow involves food? You become a liar, even the best of people lie. You have to to protect you secret, to make sure you can keep it because it becomes everything literally everything you think about. You loose family because they might be worried at first but eventually your behavior just becomes normal and they eventually ignore it leaving you to feel like nobody cares. You want a boyfriend? Well you will never feel good enough or skinny enough to have a normal relationship where you aren't trying to hide your body and lie about again everything to keep your secret safe. I lost my boyfriend of 10 years because I don't blame him for wanting a normal girlfriend where he didn't have to put up with this shit. School and a job? Well try feeling weak everyday where getting out of bed is a challenge. You feel nauseous and sick all the time and its hard to function in society. I'm 25 now and still living at home. I have been struggling with anorexia and then bulimia since I was 12 years old. I completely messed up my who gastrointestinal track and my teeth are a mess. My hair falls out. I'm trying to become a therapist to help young girls not have to go through what I went through. It breaks my heart to read these posts. You don't want this. Trust me, it will RUIN your life. Tears are streaming down my face as I type this. Please take me seriously. I wish I had listened. 


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