Taken advantage of

I was out with friends at a bar. I got way too drunk, unable to remember a lot of the night. My friends older brother drove us to one of our friends apartments where we all proceeded to hang out. I know I went with him outside a couple times to smoke, and at some point my friends had fallen asleep. I think I needed to use the restroom and he helped me get there. The next thing I can remember is him having sex with me against the bathroom counter and finishing him off at the end, but only split seconds of it all.
I have no idea what lead up to it, how it started, whether I said yes or no, if I resisted or just let it happen, or even if I initiated it. It's really been bothering me. This man is 13 years older than I am and is my friends older brother. I would never, ever, do that with a coherent mind. I wouldn't go so far to call it rape, but I most definitely feel taken advantage of. It's emotionally painful and I recognize that it has taken a toll on me. I don't know what to do except to try to forget about it. I'd like to pretend that it didn't happen to me, or that I don't care, but I keep thinking about it.
I was told that I should let my friend know what happened, but how do I tell my friend that her brother did that? If he even did anything to me, what if it was all my fault? Is it even worth it? Should I just keep it to myself?

I feel like you should definitely tell someone. It counts as rape since you weren't in your right mind. You were drunk. Someone who is drunk cannot give consent to sex.

 

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