How do you tell someone they've been raped?

Example #1
If someone knows that something wasn't completely consensual - they know enough to ask 'was it rape?' because they feel violated but for whatever reason can't clearly see that it was rape - how do you tell them 'Yes, you were raped' while still being very sensitive to the fact that this has happened to them and they're only just starting to come to terms with it? 

Example #2
If someone is under-age - say 13 years old - they are legally not able to consent to sex, so you know that their partner is guilty of statatory rape and the impact that could have on that person for them not to be able to recognize abuse, not understanding consent, or not being able to understand full consequences. BUT it's really not okay to suggest to someone 'You said yes, but that was meaningless' - so how do you point out that it was rape without taking away their agency? 

 

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