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So I am in college as a social work major. I really want to work with women who have been victims of rape and domestic violence. I was raped by my cousin when I was younger and I was not able to really tell anyone. And a lot of times you can't. But on here you can. So please share your story. Tell as much or as little as you choose. Also please let me know of anything that would help you deal with being raped or what has helped you be able to move on. Thanks
I was raped a few months ago in November at a college party. I didn't know the guy. I only know his first name. We were both drunk. He asked me to leave the party with him for a second to get some fresh air since it was really hot in the house. He then asked me to go with him to his room, and at first I said no, because I didn't want to leave my friends at the party. Then he said that his room was upstairs, so I decided that I could go with him. But I told him that I didn't want to have sex because I was a virgin. I told him that three times throughout that night that he and I were not going to have sex. However, one thing led to another in his room, and all of a sudden he was in me. It hurt a lot. I was really surprised that he did it, I had no idea what was going on. I froze up and looked at the ceiling the whole time, just waiting for it to be over. He didn't use a condom and I had forgotten to take my birth control pill before the party, so I took it as soon as I got back to my dorm. I was also on antibiotics for a sinus infection. Luckily I didn't get pregnant. For a long time I had panic attacks and nightmares. I had gotten better, but ever since going to a counselor, I feel worse again. I had to raise my antidepressants. The rape plays over and over in my mind. Nonstop. All day long. I don't know how to stop it.
I was raped by my dad he kinda played with my neck like licked and sucked it wasn't kissing really it was disgusting and I remember him trying to kiss me was also disgusting I also remember how he was always on top of me and I remember unbelievable pain and a bit of blood and he he would lick and play with me down there but I don't really know what he did since I wasn't paying attention I just laid there frozen and how I often ended up with semen on and around the area and he would tell me he was sorry very sorry but I was like how can someone be sorry but continuing doing that
This really make me sad. I never personally been rape my self but i'm writing a book about 2 girls, Faith who 15 and angel who five who are rape,abuse, and prostituted by there dad. I like to write about topics that make people think and bring awareness to stuff so it stops. When i write though i like to make it as real as i can. I thought i need to research a little so i been looking all over the internet and came on here. I just forgot my point. So to end this random rant there people who out there and wanna help and will listen like me.
I was raped my first night of my freshman year of college, which was also my 18th birthday. I'm now finishing up my sophomore year. I was feeling lonely and my roommate and I decided to take a late night trip to WalMart, just for something to do. On the way we met this group of 3 guys, got to talking and eventually starting drinking with them in their dorm room. We played a game, I can't remember the name of it, but it basically entailed taking in large numbers of shots. They kept feeding shots to my roommate and I and we got really drunk. It was stupid of us to even go, but I was homesick and in a way it made me feel good/cool that people wanted to hang out with us. Well when things were dying down, one of the guys left and the remaining two guys brought my roommate and I to lay down in their beds (separately). At this point of the night, I only remember bits and pieces. I remember sitting up in his bed and him passing me shots. Next thing I know I'm laying on my back and he's on top of me with his shirt off and taking off my shirt. I was pushing him away and trying to keep him from taking my shirt off, but I remember feeling very weak and helpless. He then took my bra off and pulled his pants down. He grabbed my hand and made me give him a hand job and then a blow job. Then he started to take my shorts off and I don't remember what happened after that. Some time later, he kicked me out of his room and I went back to my dorm. I'm so ashamed of what happened that I haven't actually been able to talk to anyone about it. I know it's cliche but I truly believe that what happened was entirely my fault. I was molested as a child by my neighbor and sometimes I feel like I will always be taken advantage of by men. That experience has made me hate men in a way. I try to channel my feelings in a more positive way, but it's still always at the back of my mind. Throughout my freshman year of college, I would binge drink most of the week to drown out my fears and to forget what happened but it just made me even more upset and hateful towards myself. It's been a long battle within, but I think I've won for the most part. I take care of myself now and I hardly drink or party anymore. I think what helped me get over the pain of my experience the most was keeping busy and staying focused on something other than the issue at hand. It didn't really solve anything, but I feel better which I suppose is an improvement.
I was raped by my cousin when I was younger. It can be a big battle within especially when there is no outside battle. It is a hard thing to overcome. Especially when you can't tell anyone. Maybe try talking to a counselor about it? I have found one thing that is helping me is that I am going into a major and career that let's me help and protect women and young girls from being rape of victimized by violence. Maybe getting in some kind of role to be an advocate or doing something to help or warn others using your situation would help. You were raped and that is a horrible thing but maybe you could use that situation and make something good out of it by warning other college girls of the dangers of getting drunk with guys and what they can do to you.
Hey, I'm doing social work too! I just thought I would share that before I tell you my stories... The first time I was raped I was 5. It was my grandmother's boyfriend or 'special friend' as she used to say. I was in bed when he came in took off my underwear and pants, then entered me. I can't remember much after that it was a long time ago and it is kind of blurry after all these years. I must have gone to sleep afterwards because I woke up and screamed my lungs out and feeling confused about what happened. My grandmother just told me to put on my underwear and pants back on and go back to sleep. He was saying all this crap so I don't think she realised what happened. I used to be able to remember more but now it is harder to remember everything. I remember enough to hate him though.  I went to counselling for that once I told my mum when I was 10. I went from 10 to 12 and then went back when I was 16. The counselling really helped. It made me feel less alone. I suffer from depression and anxiety so CBT helped a lot with dealing with it. Also, having a really supportive system helped. During my teens I would drink to numb any memories I had about it and I still self harm over it. Not as much anymore but it helps me cope. I was also raped last year on the 16th of Feb when I was 19. It was the 'friends with benefits' I had at the time. What happened was he was drunk or high or something. He came over for sex - a booty call. That was fine. Until it started to hurt really badly I wasn't relaxed enough so it made it hurt. I got off him and told him 'I can't it hurts too much.' He then spread my legs and I tried to move away but he just climbed on top and continued. I kept repeating 'it hurts' I was too scared to say 'no' because he is somewhat violent and I was scared he would hit me. I kept trying to push him off and move away. I remember at one point I was crying lying there just thinking 'I want this to stop.' He kept saying 'it's supposed to hurt' and once he even said 'I'm almost done.' I actually remember feeling scared that it would never finish. I eventually was able to move from underneath him. I was in pain for nearly a week after that unable to walk. I have told two people. It took me 9 months to accept that it was rape and not just bad sex. I just try to keep busy. My depression has come back and my anxiety is worse than ever before. The only thing that keeps me from doing anything stupid is the guy I love. He is one of the people who know and just by giving me his support helps me cope.   
i was molested by a boy i know who lived in the same area as once lived. i was 3 or 4 years old but still remember of how he used to put his penis into my mouth even now this disgust me. it  happened at a woman's place where she took babysit me. and then when i was in.5 in primary i was nearly raped by a groups of boys at my school but good thing my mom came in time.  from that time forward i was scared of boys and i used to cut of peel of by flesh on my palms and feet. then when counselors came to school i got better and God had took away my sorrow. today i feel at  ease with boys. and  now knw that all are not the same as those in my past. However i don't know how to tell my potential boyfriend michael. any ideas? 
Honestly, I would just tell him straight up, "I was raped and sexually abused as a child." Especially if/when your boyfriend is ready to move forward in the relationship and do some sexual activities. It is hard to talk about but it is also completely necessary so that he could understand where you're coming from.
thanks for the advice and am not letting myself get involved in sexual activity until marriage.
I was raped and physically abused by a guy I went to high school. I was 17 when it first started. I had been talk to this guy and one day he asked me to prom. I was really excited so of course I said yes. On Jan. 28th I was in Marching band and we had a supper we was putting on, I helped out with that. When it ended I went to my work to pick up something I had left there. When I pulled in I saw my best friend (who is now my husband) sitting in the parking lot. I hadn't seen him in awhile so I went up and started talking to him. He asked me if I wanted to go with him to grab a bite. I hadn't seen him for ever so I said yes. The guy who had asked me to prom wouldn't care or so I thought. I wasn't dating him so why should he care. Well we sat and talked when my phone rang, I answered and the guy we will call rich asked me where I was at. I didn't have anything to hide so I told him where I was and who I was with. He told me he wanted to see me and that I had to call him when I left. When I told my husband (now) that I had to go and explained to him that it was late and that was my mom. My parents were away out of state for the weekend. He didn't believe me but to took me to my car anyway. He told me he was going to follow me home and I told him now I would be ok. Well i decided I was not going to call him, because that is just the person I am. But when I pulled up into my driveway there his car sit. I told him to leave and he told me if there was ever a chance of us being anything I needed to quit being such a Wh*re. I just walked passed him figuring I didn't have to answer to him. Well he spun me around and punched me hard in the face. I opened my door and tryed to slam it in his face, he helped him self in anyway. I ran up to my bed as fast as I could and tried to get my door shut and locked so I could call the police but I wasn't fast enough. He grabbed me by the hair and forced me on the floor and started chocking me. He then proceeded to pull both of our pants down. I fought, kicked, punched, bit, and slapped. The kept saying no, please stop. He told me to shut my mouth it wouldn't would be hard to me and make it look like an accident. When He was finished he told me I better not tell anyone if I loved my little brother. I just sat there when he left. I felt dirty and pathetic. I had been a virgin and up until I got married I still considered my self one. It happened to more times after that. I was getting hit on just about a daily basis. It got so bad a one point my teacher told me if i didn't do anything about the bruises magically appearing with no recolation of how they got there he was going to do something about it himself. I just hid them better then. My senior year was pretty much ruined. I couldn't tell anyone because I let it happen more than once. But each time I fought as hard as the last. He knew he had something he could use against me and that was my brother.I still think about it time from time it took me over 2 years for me to tell me husband. He is so suppportive. When I have nightmares he is right there holding me. I have gotten better.
well I am not really going to say I was raped. I was about 7 or 8 and I was getting baby sitted. I was with my friend and all we did was touch each other. we didnt know what we was doing.
i can't believe everyone is so brave just sharing what happened. i've never actually written it down other in a long poem. i was 11 or 12, i pushed the memory so far back that i can't remember if it was before my birthday or after. i was raped by a man in a park, he was wearing a red hoodie and light blue jeans, had dark hair and i can't remember his face. i'm scared of men with red hoodies and light blue jeans. my heart pounds in my chest whenever i think about it. i wish i could hunt him down and kill him. but obviously i don't know who he is and never will, so. at one point during high school i convinced myself it didn't happen. that didn't last long. i'm terrible with intimacy because of it.
            you are just so brave i dont no how i would of sone if i were you you are really strong and brave
thank you <3 <3 so much
I was molested by my cousin for 6 an a half years and he raped me once. He only inserted once but it still was never wanted, i never told anyone until it was over for almost a year and now i kinda wana tell my uncle. me and my uncle were really close but then he found out i started cutting and he got mad and threated to have addmitted and so i stopped talking to him, but now i think he would understand why i was cutting. so idk... I started cutting and stuff becuz of it and i attempted suicide more then once....
Well...Hi. My name is Leslie and im currently 11. I had just started middle school this month and it didnt go out well. At all. I go to a specialized middle school with pretty smart kids that know everything about the teachers and their parents are uselly really important people. So last week, everyone kept looking at my science teacher in a glare way. I was confused till I asked my friends what was up and they were saying that Shamira transfered to a different school because my science teacher had raped her. They kept on saying that he is such a perv and stuff like that but i didnt belive them. So once,Last wednesday i had to stay during study hall. He said i needed to boost my grades and then he picked me up and had slammed me on the table. I was trying not to cry but i cldnt stop that. He had started kissing me and unbuttoning my school blouse and i was trying to pull away. obvisouly fail. Once he had that done he ripped of my skirt and he stopped kissing for a second,taped my mouth up,and unbottoned his pant and strted to insert himself into me. It was INSCRUTIATING PAIN! He kept om for I dont know how long. At that point i was on the brink of blacking out. My princibal had then walked in just when my science teacher was pulling up his pants. I was just lying there,curled up in a pale ball. He was arrested,Im going to counsoling and im getting better. wow,you have no idea how good it feels to just let this all out.
Omg I am so sorry. I really am.
I can't even remember mine. I went to a party with some people I work with, and a lot of random strangers that I'd never met before. One of my work colleagues kept making me drinks all night, and I have no idea how much I actually drunk. At some point in the night, someone put me into a bed. Another girl and my work colleague got into the same bed later on. He kept trying to grab me, cuddle me and kiss me for a long time. I kept pushing him off. I was really drunk at that point, and I couldn't really control my own movements very well. After a while, he stopped touching me. I can't remember anything after that, but I think I might have passed out. When I woke up in the morning, I was fully dressed but the other girl wasn't in the room anymore and he was only in his underwear. I didn't even think that anything could've happened to me. I thought I had been asleep the whole night. We both had to work that day. At work, he told me that we had slept together. I didn't really understand. I was terrified and scared because I had a boyfriend at the time. I hated myself because I thought it was my fault. The next day I went to the doctor and told them what had happened. They wanted to do a SAE kit, but I refused. They suggested I go to a rape crisis center but I never went. I didn't want anyone to try and make me go to the police. I was scared that he would try and hurt me if I told someone. Nearly six months after it happened, I finally told my boyfriend. I didn't tell him it was rape. I just told him what had happened. I thought he'd make me go to the police. He broke up with me because he thought that I had cheated. I lost everything that was important to me. I lost the guy I loved because of him. And even though I know better, I still feel like its my fault.

i have been raped more than once by more then one person.. the first time i was raped was when i was about three or four, by a  guy who was my step dad at the time. He took me into my parents room locked the door behind us and raped me. The second guy i was raped by was my step brother at the time, he raped me multiple times, i was about 11 or 12. I couldnt even take a bath or shower without him trying to do somthing to me. The third and final guy was 33, when i was about 13 or 14, he was a friend of my neighbors at the time, he was a guy that i trusted and he would take me fishin and stuff for somthing to do, and i was raped by him twice, he went to prison for it and i found out that i wasnt the first girl he did it to, i was actually like the fourth or fifth.

Oh my God. To all of you and many more who've been raped or molested I am so sorry. The men who do what they did are complete bastards and the thought that they would ever think it's okay to rape a woman makes me sick to my stomach. You've all been so brave. Remember: ITS NEVER YOUR FAULT. To those of you who are struggling with the memories, I pray you'll get better very soon . :)

I was 18 and dating my ex when my story happened. I dated him in high school, and even though people told me not to go out with him again, I decided to anyway. It was a huge mistake. The relationship started off fine at first, but my ex became much more verbally and emotionally abusive. Also, he began touching me inappropriately when I repeatedly told him to stop. One day, when he drove me home, I was about to get out of his car, but he wanted to make out/have sex. I told him no, but he threatened me at knifepoint and told me he would torture me if I didn't give in. It was horrible, and I felt so dirty. I didn't tell anyone until a month after this happened since I was so ashamed. Luckily, my parents were very supportive and helped me get over my pain.

Last summer I went for a run and I was attacked. I don't know who did it, I don't remember much of the specific details because I blacked out. I never saw his face. I ran past a guy in the woods, and he grabbed me from behind and pushed me down into the stream in a mini ravine. I hit my head against a tree, and I couldn't see that well because I got water in my eyes. I tried to fight him off, but I couldn't. He forced me to do oral. I couldn't stop him because I was scared that he would hurt me even more. He ripped my shirt and my shorts and he started to rape me. I tried to yell but he punched me in the stomach, and I don't remember much after that. All I remember is a dog ran down the trail above us, and the guy ran away. One of my neighbors was walking, and she saw me. She brought me to a hospital, but since I didn't remember the man, I couldn't pursue any legal action. I told my parents I was at a friend's house. I didn't tell anyone my name or anything. I made my neighbor promise not to tell my parents. I was tested and I am fine. I am safe. I feel guilty because I didn't do anything to report it.

Ok I was getting a ride home from him and he pulled down a dirt road I didnt think anything of it because we were in his truck and we took dirt roads home all the time. He pulled over and said to get out and close my eyes that he had a suprise for meI did so and he came up behind me and clapped his hands over my ears which made hurt almost more than anything before. All I could hear was a high pitched ringing for like 5 min then I stopped hearing he pushed me up against the truck and he reached his hand down and took of my shirt and bra he grabbed my breasts and twisted tham hard he did that for what felt like forever then he reached up my skirt and touched me. He ripped my shirt off and the panties soon followed he shoved me to my knees and took my virginity.  Then he left me lying there and climbed into his truch and drove off. He is in juvie now I am deaf from the over pressure in my ears. It was 3 years ago.

I wrote it but deleted it again. That was enough for me. 
 

I was walking out of school to go to work at the pub which was up by lower school as our school has 2 sites. I was walking up a lane to get to work whilst i was on the phone to my ex boyfriend as we are really good mates. There were people around me who were walking the opposite way. I was about halfway up the lane before i reached the pub and a guy jumped out of the bush and grabbed me and then took me into the bush, i shouted for help and everything and then he pulled out a sharp knife and was threatening me with it. He started doing all the sexual things to me, like touch me in the inappropiate places and all this lot, and then he started raping me. I screamed for help and then he picked up his knife again and held it right by my throat almost touching my skin. A few seconds later my ex came running along the bush as he knew i was on my way to work and he came looking for me. The rapest still held the knife to my throat until my ex came into the bush and dragged him out whilst calling the police. 
After the incident all i knew about him was that he was a 40 year old man and at this time i was 14 just about to turn 15 the next day, and he was in prison for a long time. After the incident tho i got bullied for a good year because i was raped, but it is not something you can help happen because there are alot of bad and nasty people in this world. Im sorry for everyone else who this has happened too as well. I hope you have all recovered from this terrible situation x 

 

All I remember is that when I was 8, my mom sat me down and told me that my great grandpa was arrested for sexually assulting two of my cousins. She asked me if there was anything I needed to talk about and I told her it happened to me. Every time I try to think back to it or think about any childhood memory i can't. I don't remember any of my childhood and when I try I feel dizzy and I get a headache. Is this because I am blocking it out? Is my mind just trying to repair itself from what happened? I'm not sure if I want to remember the incedent or incedents that happened but i know if i do remember it could either help me understand or it would destroy me. Please help me understand.
 

zoeg2467:All I remember is that when I was 8, my mom sat me down and told me that my great grandpa was arrested for sexually assulting two of my cousins. She asked me if there was anything I needed to talk about and I told her it happened to me. Every time I try to think back to it or think about any childhood memory i can't. I don't remember any of my childhood and when I try I feel dizzy and I get a headache. Is this because I am blocking it out? Is my mind just trying to repair itself from what happened? I'm not sure if I want to remember the incedent or incedents that happened but i know if i do remember it could either help me understand or it would destroy me. Please help me understand.
  

I've read that the mind is amazingly smart and has ways to protect itself.  Maybe your physical reaction helps explain that it's too soon to deal with it.  The most important thing is that you've gone forward with your life!  Are you able to have good relationships with friends and family?  Have you had a good relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend?  

I struggle at at having a relationship with a guy.  They just seem to want oral or sex from me.  I just started seeing someone and probably rushed into bed.  I am just hoping that it won't turn out like the others where it's wham-bam thank you ma'am.  

If if your life is moving along okay then don't stress about it.  

When I was 15 I went to the park with a boy who I thought was my best friend. I kind of had a crush on him, so our first kiss that day was a fantastic surprise. That kiss was all that I wanted... but I couldn't get him off me after that. Every time I expressed that I was uncomfortable with what he was doing, he flipped the situation to make me feel like it was MY fault for feeling badly and that if I didn't give into him I was a mean and selfish girl. It finally ended when my dad called me; I used that as an excuse to get away from him. I tried so hard to play cool, but I've never felt more ahamed or disgusting. He didn't rape me, but he did everything else that comes with sexual assualt and if my dad hadn't called me when he did, he would have raped me for sure... theres no doubt in my mind. Because of this and some other factors, I've been left with a lot of pain and confusion over the years on whether my experience is valid, if the ordeal was my fault, ect. I've only ever told one person about what happened and I've never told the story in much detail, but I hope that this will be a step forward into my recovery.

I am most definitely not going to pretend that i know what any of you are going through. everyone here is so brave not just if u posted even if u didnt u r an incredibly brave person just for keeping going every single day and being so strong. u r amazing and a survivor and some horrible person may have taken ur virginity ur confidence and even ur life as it was but nothing can take away how strong u r. i admire every single person who is a victim of rape. so much love admiration and luck for ur recovery in the future. stay strong x

I am most definitely not going to pretend that i know what any of you are going through. everyone here is so brave not just if u posted even if u didnt u r an incredibly brave person just for keeping going every single day and being so strong. u r amazing and a survivor and some horrible person may have taken ur virginity ur confidence and even ur life as it was but nothing can take away how strong u r. i admire every single person who is a victim of rape. so much love admiration and luck for ur recovery in the future. stay strong x

I am most definitely not going to pretend that i know what any of you are going through. everyone here is so brave not just if u posted even if u didnt u r an incredibly brave person just for keeping going every single day and being so strong. u r amazing and a survivor and some horrible person may have taken ur virginity ur confidence and even ur life as it was but nothing can take away how strong u r. i admire every single person who is a victim of rape. so much love admiration and luck for ur recovery in the future. stay strong x

ok my story is difficult to share  my attackers are my biological father and like all of his friends or whoever paid him to have sex with me but it started when j was a it 5 he first started by just sticking the tip inside me and taking my virginity but later he would just up and put the whole thing inside me he didn't care how much I cried or screamed or begged him not too in fact he told me to scream and cry even louder since it aroused him more than after a month he told his friends about me and they could use me for a while if they paid him then eventually word got out and all kinds of people were coming to pay him to use me but along with all of this him and his friends would take turns finding things around the house seeing if they would fit in my vagina or my tushy they used every hole I had just for fun seeing if things fit inside me there were many times I bled uncontrably from them just because things wouldn't fit inside me so they forced them and made them fit abuse was all kinds if I tried to speak up for myself I got hit with whatever they were holding luckily now I'm with a foster family that loves me very dearly and most of my abusers are in jail

You guys are the strongest women, the world needs you, you are so strong and brave, I wish no one would ever be raped, I can't imagine how terrible it must be!

It's so crazy how people in this world can be?

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