Sexually abused, scared of guys my age?

Hi- I'm 13 years old and was sexually abused by an ex this past year multiple times in public. I'm scared of boys my age now- especially ones I catch feelings for because I fear getting hurt again. What can I do to get over this?

Wow I'm sorry that happened!

13 and already having bad experiences!

Yea the emotional part of the brain learns from exprience. That part of the brain isn't very bright. It's rather primitive. It is adaptive. It learns from experience, and most of that learning is unconsious. It's reacting to the bad experience, and trying to protect you from having that happen again.

That feeling should slowly fade away once the bad experiences cease.

Take some time out every day to pause and scan your body and focus on how you feel, what you feel. Don't try to "explain" it, just observe what your emotions are, and scan your body, observe what your body is feeling, and just notice and take note. See if those emotions have a location. (I think this may be a way of connecting with that more primitive part of the brain and giving it the attention it wants. Giving it a few minutes of attention like that seems to appease it. It's a good trick to learn that's been passed down for thousands of years because it's so effective!)

Then, when you've achieved that for a few months, or possibly longer, you'll eventually reach a point where you feel secure enough about yourself that you can think about this poor bully guy who has such a need to be a jerk, it's kind of sad, and with a little understanding comes compassion, and that'll free you from the psychological jail he's put you in. Then you'll be ready to allow another hopefully nicer boy into your life, and I do hope that will lead to a more positive experience.

Thank you for your story!

 

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