is it okay to share

when i was younger about 14 i had a lot going on and before that when i was little i had things happen my mom quit being a mom my dad was doing his own thing and  when my mom got re-married i moved schools made friends but it was a small school  some of the girls i knew cut themselfs and ive almost tempted it but backed out at the last moment and when i got into high school i had a lot going on and had suicide thoughts they were a constant thing  but i never really attempted it the girls i talked to about it alwasy would try they're best to pick me up as i got older and was able to make better choices and met different people  and ive gone to thereapy i havent had one since i was 16 im 19 now and my life is a little out of control i have a wonderful loving boyfriend but everynow and then those thoughts will come back and i want to tell him about these thought but idk how he'll take it i dont want to scare him i just want to be open about it with and my life isnt bad at all ive felt pain and i dont want to sound selfish because i know there are actual people out there with more serious problems then me but idk why ive had thoughts like them and i just want my boyfriend to be aware and i want to talk about it with him 


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