How can I hide my scars?Please help me.

I used to cut myself and up until now I've managed to hide my scars with long sleeve shirts and jackets. However summer is starting soon where I live and my school's summer uniform doesn't include long sleeves. My mom doesn't allow me to wear makeup and I can't buy concealer myself. I have absolutely no idea what to do.I've considered just exposing my arms but none of my classmates understand, they all think that if you cut yourself you're just looking for attention.

Well I'll give it a go since no one else answered.

1. Hide scars
2. Fake story excuse (my cat scratched me)
3. If you're OK now, then that was in the past so it doesn't matter
4. If you're not OK yet, then,... we'll get back to that one.

From the other person's point of view:
1. Hide scars
    Not an option. But it takes care of the problem and other person doesn't have to do anything because they never know.

2. Fake story excuse (my cat scratched me)
    Other person dismisses them. There's nothing to fix. (Or they'll give you a lecture on how to not get scratched by a cat.)

3. If you're OK now, then that was in the past so it doesn't matter
    Other person doesn't have to do anything. There's nothing to fix. (People like fixing other people.)

4. If you're not OK yet, then,...

    a. Other person doesn't know how to respond or what to do. One option is to conclude you're "just seeking attention" which means the solution for them is to ignore you. Very convenient for them, especially because they really don't understand it and really don't know what to do to help fix you, so it's really an excuse they tell themselves to justify ignoring the problem. I suspect it's easier for them to maintain this illusion if there are two of them, and together they reinforce each other's "just seeking attention" solution to the enigma, though I bet silently inside they're still wondering, especially when they are alone.

    b. You may encounter someone who actually does understand and does know how to respond. They respond empathically, because they understand just what an incredible amount of suffering it means you've been through and may still be enduring. Their compassion heals your soul.

    c. Someone asks, you may have to educate them. Not necessarily what it's all about, as that's a lengthy explanation. They may just want to know how to respond, how to "fix" you. And the answer is the medication will fix you. So they don't have to do anything. Or the answer is you're seeing a doctor about it. Again, from their point of view it's being taken care of so they don't have to do anything. If they persist, it means they actually do care, which likely quite a lot do. It's also quite likely you're not the only one. I don't know what the percentages are, but I'm suspecting it's a lot higher than I initially thought. A lot of people suffer from depression or bipolar, they just hide it.

So I'm guessing the ones who respond with something unkind are actually just trying to deal with what they don't understand and trying to come up with some sort of justification for not doing anything about it. "It's not my problem," or "The solution is to ignore them." 

I do have one experimental suggestion. From what I understand the cutting works because it causes a physical sensation which gives your mind something to focus on, something in the present moment, the here and now, and it also gives you something to look at, which again is giving you something to focus your mind on. It's exactly like a Mindfulness Meditation exercise. You could instead try a piece of ice. Put the ice on your arm, or somewhere, focus your mind on that sensation, and you can focus your view on the ice and watch it melt. Again it's the same "focus your mind on the present moment" exercise that is what Mindfulness Meditation is all about. In theory I think it ought to work, and is worth a try.

Also Tai-Chi and Qi-Gong are mindfulness movement exercises which again help one focus their attention on the present moment. It's been around for thousands of years, and I think Western society is beginning to catch on that there's actual benefit to doing these things.

Best wishes and I hope you feel better. Hope you're seeing a doctor psychiatrist and trying various medications until you find the one that works for you. 

I have used a pumice stone gently over the scars, it removes dead skin cells and can make the scars appear lighter depending on how old and how bad they are.

ThankYou.I have alot though so I don't know if they'll belive that a cat scratched me and I'll try out the pumice.


Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment