I guess I just need to know how to be social..

I've come to terms with the fact that I'm alone almost all of the time, and that it's really messing with me.

I mean, I have friends, a whole handful of amazing, wonderful people. The problem is that I grew up in a traveling community, so of course all of my best friends and the people I love are spread throughout the country, and I don;t come from a wealthy family whatsoever, so I never get to see them.

Well, I used to travel for a portion of the year, and stay at my home state for another portion. So I was in public school and homeschool at varying times, and I used to have friends near home.. It's just, in this traveling community, I was exposed to all sorts of things that broadened my views. I really do feel so much more mature than the people in my pier group, but I'm not going to fool myself, since most teenagers feel that way apparently.. Anyway, the point is, I just don't like the people in my town, but I can't leave yet. Theres one friend here who I see, and even that is a fleeting experience. I have nothing to relate to with the average person my age, and frankly I just can't stand how superficial they are here. So, I'm alone.

I wouldn't call myself an introvert, that's not it. When I was traveling, I had a job and I loved talking to my customers, my boss, my friends there. It really is just the fact that I can't FIND the people in my town who are like me, who have radical views, people who are constantly absorbed by thoughts of the world and of philosophy, punks, whatever, just real people who have real personalities and who believe what they say. Eccentrics, maybe. I don't know.

I don't have any money now, since I'm saving it all. Not sure why yet. I'm also (hardly) too young to drive, and my mom works a lot, I can't really be driven anywhere. I just don't know what to do and I'm so lonely here. I wish I could travel again...

So I just.. Sorry if I'm rambling, but I need people physically present in my life, and I don't get along with other teens most of the time.. I'd really like some advice..

 

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