feeling extra sad :/

my depression kind of fluctuates. better and worse all the time. usually its really bad around my period, like everyone else... but right now i'm a week past my period and just feeling so sad. nothing in my life is that bad honestly... i mean my work is meh... ok... i work part time so i don't make as much as i need to be making in reality, but im just happy to be employed. my love life is... meh... i've been on and off with this guy for so long... but things are ok. i'm at the point where were going to maybe define the relationship again... sigh. 

 

i just keep feeling sad. and that he isn't into it as much as i am. and i keep worrying that i've done something wrong and that it will just be the same as always. we will make up then break up then do it again. i just want it to be for real this time. i can't keep the worry out of my head. i'm so anxious all the time. and i get anxious about work and money and friends... and it just gets overwhelming... i can't figure out why now though. i guess my depression is just bad for some reason.  i just feel so sad and alone.

hey gurl, you're not alone. aside from my mood, the relationship status with my boyrfriend also fluctuates. In 4 days we're gonna have our first anniversary, and yet now, we're both in an emotional turmoil. He is not talking to me and such, but ,even so, when things get tough, you gotta have faith that things will turn out right again... Worrying is normal, but don't let it affect your well-being.. I suggest spending extra time with him, doing things you both havent experienced before, etc etc. Basically just show him how wonderful you are. If he doesnt like what he sees and he's not working in the relationship as much as you do, then he's not for you. Why bother with the monthly defining of status if he's not making any effort or anything? Hope I helped in some way. :catvery-happy:


fourinchheels wrote:

my depression kind of fluctuates. better and worse all the time. usually its really bad around my period, like everyone else... but right now i'm a week past my period and just feeling so sad. nothing in my life is that bad honestly... i mean my work is meh... ok... i work part time so i don't make as much as i need to be making in reality, but im just happy to be employed. my love life is... meh... i've been on and off with this guy for so long... but things are ok. i'm at the point where were going to maybe define the relationship again... sigh. 

 

i just keep feeling sad. and that he isn't into it as much as i am. and i keep worrying that i've done something wrong and that it will just be the same as always. we will make up then break up then do it again. i just want it to be for real this time. i can't keep the worry out of my head. i'm so anxious all the time. and i get anxious about work and money and friends... and it just gets overwhelming... i can't figure out why now though. i guess my depression is just bad for some reason.  i just feel so sad and alone.


Have you ever considered getting treated?

i do see a counselor from time to time, but she is expensive so I don't go that often. and it's only an hour at a time. i can't confide in my best friend bc she doesn't think i should be with him and always just tells me to stop talking to him... that's the opposite of being supportive. 

 

he just tells me that he's too busy and chooses "work" over me. by "work" i mean his actual work and that he helps out with our friends clothing line... which also means hanging out with his buddies. i want a real relationship but he is very up front that he doesnt have the time to put in the effort of what he considers to be an actual relationship. I tried dating other guys over the summer but they just bored me. i want this to work so bad but i feel defeated weekly. i probably should just stop talking to him... but theres something more there. i just know there is. but i guess maybe i'd have to wait too long to get it. 

 

there are other guys that like me but i really just ignore them even though they are great guys. maybe i psychologically think i deserve this or something. idk. i just want him to be the person i fell in love with and he's not like that anymore. 


fourinchheels wrote:

i do see a counselor from time to time, but she is expensive so I don't go that often. and it's only an hour at a time. i can't confide in my best friend bc she doesn't think i should be with him and always just tells me to stop talking to him... that's the opposite of being supportive. 

Not necessarily. Being supportive of someone doesn't always mean that you tell them to keep doing what you're doing. If someone was in an abusive relationship and didn't want to leave the abuser, I'm not sure it would really be considered supportive to tell them that their life isn't in danger and they should totally stay with someone who is hurting them. Sometimes, being supportive means that you're looking out for the other's best interests, even if they can't see it. Just because you don't want to listen to what she has to say doesn't make her unsupportive. 

 

he just tells me that he's too busy and chooses "work" over me. by "work" i mean his actual work and that he helps out with our friends clothing line... which also means hanging out with his buddies. i want a real relationship but he is very up front that he doesnt have the time to put in the effort of what he considers to be an actual relationship. I tried dating other guys over the summer but they just bored me. i want this to work so bad but i feel defeated weekly. i probably should just stop talking to him... but theres something more there. i just know there is. but i guess maybe i'd have to wait too long to get it. 

 

Maybe you are reading into things more than he is. If he's really busy with work, that has to come first sometimes. He's told you that he doesn't have time to be in a relationship. It shouldn't be surprising when that's true. He's not lying to you or keep you hanging. In fact, he's doing just the opposite: By telling you that he doesn't have time to really put enough effort into an actual relationship, he's telling you not to get your hopes up. Part of the reason those summer relationships didn't work is probably because you didn't want them to. You are so focused on this one guy who really has never made a serious commitment to you, and you want it to work so badly that I doubt you really tried to make it work with those other relationships--at the end of the day you're just hung  up on someone else.

 

there are other guys that like me but i really just ignore them even though they are great guys. maybe i psychologically think i deserve this or something. idk. i just want him to be the person i fell in love with and he's not like that anymore. 

 

I think you "psychologically think" you deserve to be with this guy, so you're not willing to let it go. He's not leading you on. In fact, he's been completely honest and up front with you. Go for a guy who actually has time to be in a relationship because this guy you're hung up on obviously isn't interested in a relationship with you right now. You want to be in a relationship you can't have with a guy who you even say isn't the person you fell in love with. So what's the deal? Why are you so hellbent on holding yourself back for a guy who doesn't want to be with you? 


 

A lot of persons feel the same way as you do. There is nothing to worry about. You just need to focus on what you want exactly. If you think your relation with this guy is not working the way you want then move on and find another guy. Just find out the cause that is making you sad. There is a solution for each and every problem. I might advice you to practice yoga or meditation for your mental peace and calmness.

 

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