confused about cutting
i'm confused about cutting. i feel like it's the only way i can get help. i think i am depressed and have thought so for a long time. it was from moving once, then again 2years later. i feel kind of like i'm just being overly dramatic. i know most people are depressed because of abuse or deaths of loved ones. i don't have a very valid excuse for my sadness. i'm probably a compulsive overeater too, which makes me insecure about weight. i once tried to tell my mom i was depressed, but she thougt i was just being dramatic because i was like 11 or 10 or something. but i still feel like that. i feel like if i cut, i there will be more of a reason for me to neeed help. maybe i am just a drama queen 7th grader. or maybe i' m depressed. who knows. it doesn't help that i don't have friwnds that arent imaginary. so what do i do?

For one don't start cutting. Secondly many people get depressed or have depression without a "valid excuse", including myself. I actually can somewhat see myself in you. From pre-school till now I have moved or just changed schools like 6 times now. I haven't really had any real friends probably since the end of middle school or the beginning of high school. Even my "friends" in those last couple of years really weren't close. Being a loner can be okay sometimes but other times it brings out the depression and it sucks. I've never cut or used any form of physical self harm. I just feel mostly in today's time a lot of people go through times of depression but things will turn around. I myself right now am a full time college student, I've been looking for a job forever and still can't get my first job, don't have any friends, have self confidance issues mostly about my looks as I have Gorlin syndrome. I know that things will come around though it is just a combination of applying yourself and giving it time. Eventually I will be done with college, eventually I will get a job, and if I work on thinking positively about myself and start to put myself out there it will solve the other problems etc.

i'm confused about cutting. i feel like it's the only way i can get help.

Nope. You are absolutely 100% wrong.

 

i think i am depressed and have thought so for a long time. it was from moving once, then again 2years later. i feel kind of like i'm just being overly dramatic. i know most people are depressed because of abuse or deaths of loved ones. i don't have a very valid excuse for my sadness.

You can't compare your own experience to other people's. Moving arond a lot can be overwhelming and it causes you to lose relationship with friends that can be difficult to keep. Isolation is a pretty big reason to cause you to be sad. I think that's perfectly valid.

 

i'm probably a compulsive overeater too, which makes me insecure about weight. i once tried to tell my mom i was depressed, but she thougt i was just being dramatic because i was like 11 or 10 or something. but i still feel like that.

First of all, stop diagnosing youself. You are in the 7th grade and it's possible you're being dramatic, but this is obviously a big deal to you, real or not. Instead of telling your mom that you are depressed, try to actually describe how you feel and what is going on with you. There is a difference between being sad and being actually depressed and jumping to your own self-diagnosis will probably cause a reaction like the one your mom had. Let a doctor determine whether or not you're clinically depressed.

 

That doesn't mean that whatever is going on with you isn't a big deal, because to you it clearly is. I don't know the details but the fact that you think you need to hurt yourself to get someone to help you means you're not being heard. You really need to talk to someone about what's happening.  

 

i feel like if i cut, i there will be more of a reason for me to neeed help. maybe i am just a drama queen 7th grader. or maybe i' m depressed. who knows. it doesn't help that i don't have friwnds that arent imaginary. so what do i do?

 

You would rather permanently damage your body and put yourself at risk for even more mental problems than you may already have, than simply talk to someone? That doesn't make much sense, now does it? If you don't feel like you can talk to your mom, try a teacher or school counselor. Someone needs to understand what you're going through.

>i don't have a very valid excuse for my sadness.

That's your clue right there.

I used to be the same way; blaming my bad feelings on the bad world I saw. Eventually I realized the feelings I was having just didn't make sense. The problem wasn't with the picture, the problem was with the camera.

 

I realized it wasn't "Sucky world leads to bad feelings," it was the other way around; "Bad feelings leads to seeing the world as sucky." But the world wasn't that bad. I didn't have a valid excuse. The problem wasn't with the world, the problem was with me. Suddenly everything the doctor and my parents told me made sense.

 

The rest of my story; hope it helps:

http://www.wingofmadness.com/depression-as-a-medical-illness-19

     It definitely sounds like you are having a round with depression. Cutting is never okay and feeling like it's the only way you can get help simply isn't true. 

     The way you are feeling on the inside is something that only you know. Parents often like to feel like their children are perfect and happy. You need to tell your mom that although you respect her opinion, you feel like something just isn't right. Ask her to take you to a consultation with a doctor who can PROPERLY diagnose you. You will feel so much better when you find out if there really is something wrong. You don't need a valid excuse. Sometimes the chemicals in our brains are just a little off.

     Until then, instead of cutting, why dont you try something else to release the energy or tension. Most people find that working out helps. Or try joining a club or sport that will keep you busy and possible help you meet some new great friends. Keep busy! But please, go in for the consultation with a doctor. You will feel so much better and your mom will realize how you have really been feeling.

 

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