Hey all! So, I'm in a bit of a trouble. My boss has been acting a bit weird lately. He has always been this friendly and helpful guy. He has always tried to help me in my bad times and yes I've always been grateful to him. But from the past few months there has been something fishy going on. He is a married guy with two beautiful children and I personally know his family. He started off with talking bad about his wife one day. At first I thought may be it's some common disputes. But then later he kept telling me how unsatisfied he was with his wife both emotionally and sexually. He even started talking sexual stuffs with me. And I had to hear all that just not to offend him in anyway. I didn't want to be rude to him, so I didn't say anything. He even started chatting with me late night. If I avoided it, the next day he used be off mood in office making people ask what had happened to him. And the moment I would start talking to him, he would be normal again. Although, I've been noticing all this from a long time I haven't said it to anyone, besides my close friend, cause I don't want any kind of trouble and more than anything I don't want to lose this job. But now things have gone too far. My boss have started coming home for no reason. He comes over to discuss work and then remains for hours talking bullshit non work related stuffs. He says he feels comfortable with me. Now what does that mean? And yesterday, something really bad happened. He send me a sex video on chat. So far I haven't replied for it nor called or asked anything. I told my friend about it and she got very furious. She asked me to put up a case of sexual assault on him. But how can I do that, cause he has only been talking bad, he has, so far at least, never touched me in any wrong way. Although, I'm not sure of the future. After talking to my friend, I even did check online whether I could really file a case against him, and I found that there has to be some sexual abuse/activity involved to file such case. http://www.torontodefencelawyers.com/practice-areas/sexual-assault/ What can my situation be considered as? What can I do? Will I have to leave my job? Please advice.
File it as sexual harrassment with HR
Be careful with HR. I read a story that HR is on the side of the company, not on the side of the employee. HR might gang up against you.
This is a tough one.
You might be able to find an older person, like a wise older man, who will know how to tactfully defuse this situation. Someone higher up? Who is the boss's boss? The boss's boss's boss? Someone with tact and authority could have a very private "please cease and desist" talk with this guy. Maybe that's all it will take.
But then the boss might retaliate and try to get you fired. That may be what happens if you go to HR. The boss will just tell HR to fire you, and HR will side with the company. That's why it's nice if you can find an ally higher up, above the boss. If that person really cares about the company (as anyone very high up ought to), they'll see you as an asset, a good employee, and the boss as a wayward man who needs hopefully just a nudge. Older men, grandfather age, may tend to have that grandfather takes care of grandchildren attitude.
Sorry no super easy fix.
Maybe you could "disappear" after work? Because you're busy having a life? With a (possibly fake) boyfriend? (Or maybe pretend to be a super fundamentalist Christian who starts quoting numerous irrelevant Bible verses when she's not at work?)
Send the vid to his wife, let her do the job. Or you said, you know them personally, just talk to her. Firstly, she needs to know, second, she will solve your problem, too. Just make sure to tell her everything in a way so that she can't be mad at you, so look even more innocent than you actually are.?