Last week my sisters boyfriend threw against her car in a drunken rage then burned several of her things infront of her when she was able to escape into her car. Tonight she decided to forgive him and now wants to move in with him. This is not the first time he has hurt her. This time he gave her a concusion, but last time is was almost a broke rib. My sister and I did not have the best childhood. My father had a horrible temper and abused us on several occasions. Once in particular he beat us with a board; unfortunetly he always hurt her worse and help never came. Our parents are still together and my father has calmed down some, but our abusive past still lingures and he has snapped within the last year. I know we are not in the best situation, but our father never hurt us to the point of severe injury. I really fear for my sisters life and I want to help her. She feels alone in this, but she knows we both have the same past. How can I help her?
She not alone at all. The shitty reality of it is this happens all the time. I had an abusive lover and it can be night mare. I went back for 5 years, he cracked my skull open, broke my rib while I was holding our daughter, once he kicked me so hard in my stomach my tampon shot out of me, pushed my head so far between my legs I started having seizure(I never thought I was closer to death) and I protected him I never testified against him and let him walk because I thought I would prove my love for him and he would stop. Even though CPS told me they would take my duaghter if I stayed, I stayed. They never got her. But 2 years after I got the strength to leave, he molested our daughter and beat her to keep quite, so she lied for him just like I did and he got away with it. So the courts took custody from me and gave it him, he lied to bunch of people about how much he missed her and all this bullshit just so he could hurt her to hurt me. But I protected him so he could fuck me over.
Now she gets the beatings and unwanted sexual attention that I got.The advise I can give your sister is learn from my mistakes, they don't change, even if this is the life you saw as a child it not right and its not just the way this generation is and whatever she does DON"T HAVE A BABY WITH HIM, it will not change anything. Abusive prick bastard have walked this planet since man times began (accually that alfa male shit was integeral to our survioral), that sucks you're sister been shown its normal so its going to be hard to get through to her. When I finally got up the strength to leave it was after I started going back to school and relized how horrible my marriage was compaired to the other girls in my class. The embarrassment finally weight out and then he started taking it out on our daughter, so I threw him out, he tryed to kill my new lover, has stalked me and broke into my house multiple times (last time was about 2 weeks ago), the police stoped caring because I went back so many times they think I call the police to get revenge now. Thier's not to much you can do to help someone that choose to be a victim, just remind her you love her and be thier when it falls to shit, also take her to the hospital if the injurys are really bad. I'd have huge welts and busted bones and I'd hide them when the cops came and refuse to get medical help. Also just because she wants to protect him, you don't have too. Keep your sister safe, she understand someday(maybe). If it gets to crazy call the cops, she might be mad but at she won't be dead. Good luck ladys