Boyfriend has abusive mom? Please help us :\

Sorry this is so long but I need to get this off my chest and I honestly don't know what to do about it at all. So my boyfriend and I have been going out for only a few months now (about 4) and I've become really close to him and his family. There's a bit of an issue with his mom though. He lives just with her and she gets angry really easily. It's always small things where she ignores our explination for what happened and then realizes later it wasn't a big deal. She yelled at us for about an hour one time because we offered to move furniture for a friend. I went outside because I started to cry and she came out and ignored it, she just came out to complain to me about my boyfriend.She calls him stupid and always blames things on him and also me when I'm there. When she's mad she claims I don't do anything around the house where I'm always trying to help out. And I'm not just saying this to make me sound better. I've shovelled their driveway and sidewalk so many times, and I do dishes and make dinner when she's out, I tutor my boyfriend in math, I've helped clean the entire house (organization, vaccuming, etc.), helped my boyfriend at the bottle depot for her recyling, and helped wash his truck. One time when she wasn't mad she said "These kids do so much work around here nothing would get done without them" but as soon as she's mad everything good we've ever done is completely irrelevant. She even told my boyfriend to keep my christmas present under $20 since "she doesn't do anything anyway". We own up to our mistakes but sometimes its issues that have nothing to do with us. That's frustrating enough to be around but the way she treats my boyfriend when I'm not there is what truly upsets me. She has said she wishes she could put him up for adoption and today my boyfriend asked her what she would do if she crashed while texting (he was trying to prove a point about why he doesn't reply to her texts while driving) and she said that she hopes he gets seriously injured in a car accident because she wouldn't care if he did. She also hit him with a snow brush for cars. And there have been a number of times before where she has slapped him in the face. That's just all I know of. Sometimes boyfriend and I jokingly spank each other and smacks eachother's faces lightly (and I swear I mean lightly) but sometimes when we start to play a bit rougher he asks me to stop because it reminds him of the way his mom used to treat him when he was younger. His mom is an amazing woman when she's in a good mood, she's kind and thinks of us and we have really great conversations. But when she's mad, it's like a completely different woman. There is not a single person I know that I am more scared of than her, and sometimes I worry that she will hit me too (although she's never come close to it) and my boyfriend actually sees that as being a possibility. He's staying at our close family friend's house for tonight because he says he doesn't feel safe at home. He is only 16 so moving out would be a big struggle and it would worry me for him to do so, and staying at his dad's is never going to happen, and it's not going to be an option at any point. I'm just wondering if anyone has been through something like this or has any advice on what to do or maybe what to say to my boyfriend. Thanks.

YOU NEED TO TELL SOMEONE. He could be in real danger. You need to tell someone so his mom can get help.

I know he won't want me to, idk what will happen to him if I tell and his family will hate me.

maybe I'm nuts but it sounds like she is bi-polar to me.  She sounds a lot like my best friend describes he was before being medicated.  Bad thing is I don't know what to suggest.  Not sure what you and your boyfriend can do other then avoid her when she's in her moods.  

I will suggest this I know you don't want to turn her in right now and I understand.  But at least you need to record, photograph or even video everything you can just in case.  Keep it, save it, whatever it takes for a rainy day!  If you know what I mean.  

 

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment