scared of every male relative
So when I was in about 3rd grade I had an uncle who was about 14 at the time. I remember we were at a Christmas party with my family and he showed up. In the past he'd always stare at me and he'd always sit next to me and start rubbing my leg with his thumb. Well when he got there I was watching a movie with my cousins and he came and sat next to me. I had kind of a crush on him. Yes I know it was wrong I never did Anthony about it I was nine. Well we all decided to play hide and seek. I went wig my friend and my little brother into a closet. He came in and hid next to my friend. I remember her telling me to get out and later on she told me that he was touching her. Well I went in there a second time and so did he. Now we were hiding when all of a sudden he started touching me, and I was like paralyzed. I didn't know what was happening. Well then he turned my head and went in to kiss me but I pushed I'm away and I ran out. He whole night I just spent it next to my parents. Next day on Christmas I told my mom what happened and I was crying so much. I thought it was my fault that he did that. I know it wasn't rape or anything's like that bit my mom never told anyone and she told me not to tell anyone either. Well I was wondering if is it because of his incident that I am scared of being alone With any male relative? I feel like they are going to do something similar and I feel this with my brothers and my dad too. Can anyone help?

It's certainly not your fault that he did that to you, and it's really sad that your mom tried to keep it all quiet after he sexually assaulted you and your friend. I think it's perfectly reasonable to believe that you are afraid of your male relatives because of what your uncle did. Sexual abuse has a lasting impact even (or especially) when you try to suppress it all.

 

Realistically, you should get therapy to repair the relationship with your family members, so you can stop being afraid of them. Just because your mom wants to ignore it, it doesn't change the fact that you and your friend were sexually abused by your uncle. I'm not sure what the statute of limitations are on sexual abuse (I imagine that there really aren't any) but if you wanted to really go after him, you could. It wouldn't change what happened to you though, and I think helping you to move on is probably more important.

 

I know you're uncomfortable around your dad, and I know it would be awkward, but maybe try telling him since your mom wouldn't listen?

Hey hun, its very much likely that due to the past that you feel this way. I mean a man has abused you in the worse possible way thats possible, I don't blame you for being worried. However not all men are like him, in fact I have a good boy friend who is lovely and wouldn't abuse a girl in any shape or form, so there is hope out there ! xx

 

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