My rape/abuse story
I'm 18 now...Ive never written this down...I've only told one person...who seems to not care anymore. When I was 15 i started dating Ryan...everything was absolutely great until he got a little upset one day because...well honestly i dont even remember..but I remember it ending with im hitting me across the face. It hurt...but he said I needed to be put in my place and I guess i believed hi...things went on..every now or then he'd occassionally hit me if I made him mad or did something wrong...just a smack on the face or something...I grew the accept that i was just who he was and I deserved it....he started introducing me to his fiends who were cool at first...then well everything turned upside down...they were all playing COD when they said hey karen make some food...and I jokingly said haah get it yourself lazyy assess..haha. they all dropped the controller was like what? ryan punish your bitch...so he pushed me into the contrete wall and said lose the attitude and make us some #### food you bitch...i said okay and made it...I guess I didnt make enough because they got pissed again and ryan was out getting soda so lets call him Jared grabbed me and held my arms behind y back while Arod, Mike, and Alex started punching me in the stomach to the point were I coughed up blood....jared let me go and I immediatly fell to the floor. i could hardly breath and I was bleeding through the mouth...I got up a few minutes later, washed up, and left. Another night..i was with ryan and I told him about it...and right as I was finishing the story they walked in. They said i deserved it and I shouldnt be talking ####..so ryan got pissed at me for no reason and pushed me and kicked my ribs so hard i felt it crack...I couldnt get up and i was screamingt at the top of my lungs...they kept kicking me..then Jared held me up and they started punching my face and my stomach...they all said want some? and they plopped me on the bed and ryan held me and they all took their turn...all while i was screaming no no stop and crying...after they were done..I had to make them food...They said I better come back 10am tomorrow or I'll get it worse..so i went back..and they had a knife..it was jareds...he sat me down and held it to my back and said what if I just cut you...and then all the sudden alex came up and just smacked me aross my face, and the impact from that made the blade go into my back...i was bleeding really bad and I was screaming...then jared got a gun and held it to my head and said shut up bitch...so i didnt make a sound. Jared went to go get a wet towel and tied it over my face...now when theres a wet towel on your face and you cant move it, it's really #### hard to breath..so ipassed out from lack of oxygen and i woke up to them holding me pinned down on the bed and they were taking there turns...they said that i wasnt good enough so then ryan pulled me to the bath tub...filled it half way..jared said get on all fours and i did...ryan shoved my head under water as jared was....well...raping me. i was screaming so hard that I inhaled water...i tried to exhale but my lungs were burning and I passed out....i woke up and coughed up water and my through and lungs were on fire...ryan picked me up befcaue i didnt have the strength and they just started punching me...ryan slammed me to the ground and they were just beating me...ryan then put his hand around my neck and i couldnt breath so I passed out...I woke up the next morning naked and bleeding everywhere...too sore to walk...I couldn't move because of the pain...I couldnt talk because of my throat was burning...I could harly open my eyes...I just layed there hoping..praying that they wouldnt come back....Ryans other friend opened the door and i assume he went the other way and didnt see me because like 15 minutes later came back and saw me and was like oh my god and ran over to me...he asked if i was ok and i my eyes just started filling with tears and I still couldnt talk no matter how much I tried..I was shivering and he went to reach for a clean...non bloodfilled blanket and I flinched thinking he was going to hit me...he told me that he wasnt going to hurt me..that no one is going to hurt me again....he called the police and they came...the doctors told my parents I wouldnt be able to speak for about 3 days because of the pressure that was applied to my neck and that I couldnt inhale enough oxgen to speak because my lungs were so damaged...Edgar...the guy who rescued me stayed by my side every day and every night. I wouldnt let anyone near me...I would flinch every time a cop would move his had..or a nurse would reach to get something bye me...he was the only one I trusted at that moment. i finally was able to talk about four days later and the cops told edgar that he couldnt be in there for questioning...I begged them and begged them...they told me to relax..and that they werent going to touch me. i kind of believed them. They told me to close my eyes and go back to the night it happened....i was telling them every thing that happened up until the moment i went to the bathroom by the tub. I started cyring and i couldnt go on...the cop touched my hand and said its ok...but It startled me because I was having a flashback..so i screamed no no stop hurting me...and Edgar and my parents and the doctor came in and edgar blew up...I never saw anyone talk to a police officer the way he did...He sat there and hugged me while I cried..and my mom sat by me...and my dad tried to hug me but I would jump every time one of the would touch me... a few days later two female cops came back and I felt a little better about that....but I said im not saying anything unless edgar was there with me. he held my hand while I told my story...crying and all....and the cops left...I was in the hospital for about three weeks...I came out with 3 broken ribs, a broken two, broken wrist, cracked skull, broken eye socket, stiches in my back, displaced jaw, and a tore ACL. i went to therapy...i went back to school with edgar by my side..and every one was supportive...even though i'd start crying in the middle of class...it's been three years now and I only have one scar from it all on my back. me and edgar drifted..and ryan and his friends were in jail but recently got out. I saw the one time at walmart with my friend and I started having a flashback and luckly my town is so small that everyone knew...the managers kicked them out and everything was ok...they dont bother me...and I'm ok...I have night mares sometimes about it...but I've learned to over come it..sorry that it was so long.
Oh my goodness honey, I cried while reading this.... I have no experience with subjects like this and I wish I did so that I could help you further, but I am so glad you made it through that! You shouldn't be afraid to tell close friends and family this information, I don't know your background but I'm sure it may help a bit to have people around you that you can confide in when you are going through bad times! ~I wish I could be there, be strong!~<3 Kenya
Oh my God,that is really bad.I am so sorry you had to go through all that.It made me feel really sad :(
all i can say is that a black kid that punches an old man gets 8 years in an adult prison. several guys that batter, bruise, break, sufficate, stab, threated with a gun, rape, and emotionally torture a girl... they get three years. I am trying to stop cussing but that is 100% BULL ####. the kid that punched the old man was 15... the old man was not hurt. I hope those guys get caught with a kilo of coke and go to prison so they can get beat and raped.
You are so strong to have lived through this. What they did to you was/is/and always will be disgusting. Those pigs should have gotten a taste of their own medicine. It's #### amazing that they only got a few years. They should have gotten life. Anyone who does that to another person another living thing should not be allowed to stay in society. Girl, no matter what they did, no matter what they told you, you have worth, and a hell of a lot of it. You are so strong and so beautiful. Don't forget that.

I'm so sorry that had happened to you I cried silently to myself I've been through a lot of terrible things myself but nothing as horrible as what you went through I myself have been used for sex by a lot of people and abused in other ways I tried standing up for myself one time ended up get beaten and then thrown out of the house at that time so I was homeless for a while feeling that nobody wanted me around I took shelter in an old unused drainage pipe. But that was a while ago I still have that fear of well everyone that I'm not doing anything good enough. I know it's not the same thing but I know your struggles and can relate in some way you have my love and again I'm sorry for what happened 

 

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