Depression after Abortion

So, it's literally been ten months since my abortion. Everyday gets harder. I know my boyfriend regrets me doing it and is upset that I did itt but, he's still by my side, nothing makes more happy. I've cried myself to sleep many nights but, I can't keep doing this. It hurts. I blame myself. I did it for me so that I can go to college and better myself, but does making myself better mean being unhappy? Sex is weird now. I feel so weird after the fact. I'm not on birth control but I will be soon. My mom won't talk about birth control with me so I'll wait until I'm 18. But, I need to hear from other girls..How do y'all deal with this. I need help...I need answeres.

First of all, you did nothing wrong! I had an abortion when I was 18. I was sad, I cried, I missed work, I dropped all of my classes that semester, but about a year after the fact, I was so glad that I did it. My sister had her daughter when she was 17, she is now 27 with 4 kids. She is still with the same guy and so unhappy. She basically stayed with him, got married and had more kids to make him happy. He is 9 years older then her.

Basically, you are going to feel these emotions. You experienced a loss, you are in mourning. That is natual and normal. Imagine life with a child. All of the demands and things that you won't be able to do or provide for that child. And in the nicest way possible, what if things dont work out with your current guy? Then you are raising a child in a broken home. You are coming to terms with your decision, and its going to take a while. But I promise that you will be ok. Take a break from sex. Talk about what you are feeling. See a counselor, find other girls that made the same choice you did.

I hope i was able to help

I'm right there with you, girl.  I had an abortion in January, and although some days I'm so depressed about it I don't want to do anything, I just have to remind myself that I did the right thing.  I chose to have an abortion for the same reason; I'm a junior in college and my boyfriend is a senior.  We can barely pay our rent as it is, and we both need to graduate and get jobs before starting a family.  I want more for my future children!  But it's hard to think about the "what ifs" especially when I see other people my age having children.  Take the advice from mandy, and just know that you aren't alone in your situation either. 

If you are in the US (I'm not sure), you should be able to get birth control without your mom's permission.  Talk to you obgyn or Planned Parenthood about finding a birth control that is covered by your insurance; you can probably get it for free.  As long as you can find a way to pick it up from the pharmacy you shouldn't have a problem because your doctor can't tell your parents anything you don't want them to.  I do recommend that you talk to your mom about seeing a therapist.  It really helps just to have someone to talk to, whose job it is to help.


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