I need some help (I think)

Lately ive  been slightly concerned that I have a problem. Alcoholism runs in my family. In fact my grandfather almost died 5 years ago. I dont find myself drinking on the regular, however I do find myself drinking alone and getting drunk on occasion. When im drunk I like to start fights with my boyfriend. If im out with my friends sometimes ill cry. I dont typically drink to get a buzz like most people, I drink to get black out drunk. But then I wont have a drink for weeks sometimes even months. I'm wondering if that falls in the catagory as binge drinking, lately ive found myself wanting to drink more and more since I had an abortion about 2 months ago. Im just wondering what everyone thinks, is it a problem or is it something i should just try and be more leery about? 

Oh wow sorry about the abortion thing! That little detail was sort of buried in there and yes that's the real problem. Drinking as you describe is usually just a symptom of a deeper problem, and we drink to "escape".

But it doesn't work as you know, or at least it's not a long term solution to the real underlying problem. That's what AA groups are for, and they work wonderfully well. (I've been to them.) The groups are where you can process all those other underlying issues that make you want to drink to escape those other problems. The basic format is everybody listens without responding or trying to "fix" things or give advice, you just listen to each other, and the listening itself is the fix. I have no idea why it works, it just does. You could find an all women AA group, go and see what it's about. You don't have to identify yourself as being an alcoholic, or think of yourself as an alcoholic. I prefer to think of it as "People who have a problem with alcohol, but we're still people." This way the problem doesn't become something that defines who you are. I don't have to be an alcoholic, instead I can be a person who has a problem. (Though at many meetings I've found they start with, "Are there any alcoholics among us?" and everybody raises their hand--except me--that's pretty gutsy of me not to go along with the crowd!)(I have a friend who's also not an alcoholic. She has no problem drinking, in fact she's quite good at it. Driving, that's what she has a problem with, and apparently the highway patrol person who pulled her over thought the same thing. I encourage her to come and pretend it's "Drivers Anonymous".)

So I was saying, you could go to an all female AA meeting, and there you can talk about women things, like abortions, and surprisingly just being with people who accept you as you are, since they all have the same problem they're not going to judge you for drinking, they just say, "Welcome!"; surprisingly it can really help a lot. AA meetings doesn't "fix" things, they just makes it OK to have problems. You feel better, and the better you feel the less reason you have to drink.

Then when you're ready, you can tell them whatever your problems are, and they hearing you and not reacting but just silently acknowledging yup you have a problem, somehow makes the problem less of a problem. It helps emotionally detach you from the problem. For example, the problem is you had an abortion. Actually, the problem is all these feelings you are having after the abortion. When you feel comfortable enough to tell the other people at the AA meeting about all these feelings your having, whatever they may be, and they accept you and silently acknowledge you are having those feelings, it becomes OK to have those feelings, and the real real problem is it wasn't OK having those feelings, so people stuff those feelings, hold them in, hide them, drown them with alcohol, but none of that really works; however, once it's OK to have those feelings, really truly OK to have those feelings, then the feelings no longer are a problem, and you can make peace with them.

That's it. Best Wishes! Oh yes, and if alcoholism runs in your family, alcoholism is a biological thing you're probably prone to it just because of your body, so it's not something you can control or cure, but you can go to AA meetings and get that good feeling so you haven't such a strong desire to drink, and that greatly helps with staying sober, plus you get to be happy and that just feels good. Best wishes!

You are not an alcoholic--yet--but it sounds like you are heading in that direction, unfortunately, especially with alcoholism running in your family (which substantially increases your chances of developing alcoholism).

Drinking alone, drinking to get "blacked-out" wasted as you put it, and the violent/angry and otherwise emotional behaviors you've mentioned you experience when you drink are all warning signs of alcoholism. Drinking to deal with emotional distress (your abortion) is something I think many adults do at some point, but there is a distinction between normal drinking and dangerous drinking.

I think you're headed down a pontentially dangerous (as in, life-threatening) road. Try and cut back on drinking; aim to stop all-together for now. If you can't at least try and minimalise your drinking, you will know you have a problem and that it'd be time to look into seeking help. Good luck! Remember, it's better to be safe than sorry and nip problems like these in the bud before it's too late than to realize down the line that your life has become completely unmanageable and wish you'd done something sooner! 

the first time i get drunk i really love the buzz that it gives to me. i always drinking with my friends and found my self that i already an alcoholic. everytime i try to stop drinking i feel intense anxiety and sweating and twitching. that time i ask for help to specialist and they told me to do some treatment at Drug Addiction Program after my treatment i am now back to my normal life. i also don't want to see my old friends now to avoid the temptation of drinking.


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