want to meet parents

I've always wanted to meet my birth parents, even if it's just for an hour. I feel that meeting them could answer alot of questions I have about myself. But my mother says meeting them will disappoint me, and I understand where she's coming from. But I still really feel like I need to find out about myself. Am I in the wrong? 

Personally, I think every adoptive parent should prepare themselves in advance for a possible conversation about the child asking about or wanting to meet the birth parents...

I don't think your wrong...

Neither of you are wrong. :-) You're both right actually.


You have a right to want to meet your parents, and to meet them. Your mother is just trying to do what mothers do, and to protect you [emotionally]. That is her right (and duty) as a mother...even when it's annoying. ;-)

And she's right because a lot of times it is very disappointing and even hurtful meeting your parents. No matter how much you try and tell yourself of the risks, nothing factual can prepare you for the reality of rejection. Your parents may not want to talk to you at all. They may refuse to do so. Or they may talk to you and tell you hurtful things. Or you may find out things about them that you didn't really want to know. And once you do, you can never return to this nice fantasy of them you have now where it's all just potential and a lot of happiness and 'maybes'.

Well  please dont get a perception that your mom is thebest like i did i regret meeting my biological mother she is the eveilest person i have ever met i wish i never met her

 


heartjazzyfvr wrote:

I've always wanted to meet my birth parents, even if it's just for an hour. I feel that meeting them could answer alot of questions I have about myself. But my mother says meeting them will disappoint me, and I understand where she's coming from. But I still really feel like I need to find out about myself. Am I in the wrong? 


I know you posted this awhile ago--

But I think you're both right. What kinds of questions to you feel your birth parents can answer for you? 

It's easy to build up an idea of someone when you're not around them--The kind of person you think they might be, the idea that maybe they've spent their entire lives wishing they had never let you go. That kind of thing is very common. I know many people who have been adopted. Many of them at some point have tried to find more information about their birth parents, and out of all of them only one was a good story. Only one.

 

The other thing to consider is that they may not want to meet you. Some people give their children up for adoption out of love and knowing that they can't give their child the life they want for them. But some people just are crappy parents and didn't want the kid. Either way, in choosing a closed adoption they made the choice to never see that child again. Some people might be okay with meeting the child, but understand that your biological parents might not. Also, you're more likely to find your biological mother than father since a father isn't required to be on the birth certificate, and if he isn't in the picture at all he wouldn't have had to sign adoption papers.

No you're not wrong but sometimes what your parents think is important too.... Ik what you're going through i was adopted when i was little from outside the US and its hard knowing that your "real" parents are out there and you have no idea who they are.... it hurts... but wanting to meet your parents is an okay feeling.... take my sister for example she is also adopted but doesn't care that she doesn't know her real mother but every case is different.... we were all given up for different reasons... your parents most likely know why and they just want to protect you.... i recomend that you just talk about it calmly to them.. hope this helped :)

I want to meet my parents also as far as I know my mom is a drugy abd a druck but she wabted to keep me bc I was the only girl but my grandmother said if you keep her you are going to be homeless bc yoyr not living here with her. My haha idek if he exists jever seen a pic heard his name idk who I even. Look like I just want to know if I can find her somehow no one knows what its like until ur in the situation thats what I like about this you girls can also relate

I think if your mom is telling you not to meet her then you should be cautios. It could uin what you think of her and sometimes yourself. She is warnig you for a reason. Is there a dad you could meet instead?

Also, try looking her up on Facebook,Twitter, and/or Instagram. You can see what her life and lifestyle are like.

 

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