I didn't even know..

So around the 10th or so, I started bleeding, and when i went to the bathroom and saw these little...chunks? Clots? I don't even know how to describe them, but they were fairly noticable, and not at all like a regular period. Also during this time I was having some pretty bad cramps and pain in my lower back, which is strange because I never get cramps.

 

I called my mom to tell her that I thought I was miscarrying, but she told me it was just my body reacting from the stress (my boyfriend had broken up with me a few days earlier) and not to worry about it, and by Friday all of the bleeding had stopped. I really tried not to think about what had happened, but by Thursday of the next week I was kind of freaking out and I ended up going to the school nurse and asking her, and I also talked to a friend who's miscarried before, and they both told me that since I was a little farther along (we did the math and figured I was around 10 weeks) I need to go to the doctor to make sure everything's out, so that's what I'm doing tomorrow (without my mother, for obvious reasons).

 

The school conselor told me I need to just "handle my business" and move on, and that since I didn't know about the baby until it was gone, it's overdramatic of me to cry for him. I know that maybe she's right, and maybe I don't have a right to mourn him since I never knew, but I still can't help but feel like I've lost a part of myself.

I've never been in this situation, but from people I know, I think it's perfectly normal for you to feel that way. You deal with it however you need to, everyone responds to situations in different ways. Regardless of whether you knew about the baby or not, it was still your child, still a life growing inside of you. I hope you go through the mourning process in your own way and then move on, it's only natural. Well, i don't hope you mourn, but if you do, I hope you move on after.

It's not overdramatic to cry over it. When your uterus holds life, however briefly, it's still life-changing. I'm so sorry for your loss
 

 

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