twin babies :(
I recently had an early miscarriage, hardest trial that I've ever been in. When I told my ex, he kept away. He says he was scared and just really hurt. I have a strong support system with my friends but it would mean so much more if I had him. I just feel really alone and I feel like its my fault that they are not with me. Between stress and work, I feel like I brought this on myself. Someone even called me a murderer, as if I wasn't blaming myself enough. I'm not sure how to cope with this. It has been a month and it feels so surreal. I even had the baby generator app tosee what my beautiful babies would have looked like. I wrote so many names down and dream about them constantly. Im in college and one of my.classes is actually 'death & dying' (I signed up for it way before I knew I had the miscarriage) it hurts to write papers about losses, but it is a way to express how I feel so there's a twinge of glee. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I wish I had them back in my life

tmay313 wrote:
I recently had an early miscarriage, hardest trial that I've ever been in. When I told my ex, he kept away. He says he was scared and just really hurt. I have a strong support system with my friends but it would mean so much more if I had him. I just feel really alone and I feel like its my fault that they are not with me. Between stress and work, I feel like I brought this on myself. Someone even called me a murderer, as if I wasn't blaming myself enough. I'm not sure how to cope with this. It has been a month and it feels so surreal. I even had the baby generator app tosee what my beautiful babies would have looked like. I wrote so many names down and dream about them constantly. Im in college and one of my.classes is actually 'death & dying' (I signed up for it way before I knew I had the miscarriage) it hurts to write papers about losses, but it is a way to express how I feel so there's a twinge of glee. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I wish I had them back in my life

Even with stress and all that, you didn't bring this on yourself. Believe it or not, 50% of pregnancies end in the first trimester. Most of the time it's before you know you're pregnant. It's usually genetic abnormalities that made it impossible for the baby to survive. With twins, it's twice the opportunity for that to occur. That's why many women decide not to tell anyone they're pregnant until after the first trimester; once you're into the second trimester, the likelihood of a miscarriage drops dramatically. Basically, it's not your fault at all! 

 

I understand that you're mourning right now, but try not to obsess. It will take time for you to move forward, but I think that you should really try to. It sounds like your ex is mourning too, and I think it might be good idea to reach out to him again. It's hard to go through something like this alone. Another thought is to seek out counseling through your college, which almost certainly has a mental health center on campus. All the wishing in the world will not bring back the pregnancy you had, but it doesn't mean you won't be able to have more children. 

 

Why not write your babies a letter and send it up in a balloon like a sort of funeral or memorial service? I think it might help give you closure.

tmay313:
I recently had an early miscarriage, hardest trial that I've ever been in. When I told my ex, he kept away. He says he was scared and just really hurt. I have a strong support system with my friends but it would mean so much more if I had him. I just feel really alone and I feel like its my fault that they are not with me. Between stress and work, I feel like I brought this on myself. Someone even called me a murderer, as if I wasn't blaming myself enough. I'm not sure how to cope with this. It has been a month and it feels so surreal. I even had the baby generator app tosee what my beautiful babies would have looked like. I wrote so many names down and dream about them constantly. Im in college and one of my.classes is actually 'death & dying' (I signed up for it way before I knew I had the miscarriage) it hurts to write papers about losses, but it is a way to express how I feel so there's a twinge of glee. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I wish I had them back in my life

Oh My God! I am so sorry. my BFF can sort of relate. She had a girl who was stillborn (born dead). She was going to name her Tessanieh

 

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